Author: upturnedtable
“You know, the only thing that matters is the ending. It’s the most important part of the story.”
—Mort, Secret Window
So, why leave it up to your players? Kidding.
In this Waynelss episode, Chris and Lyal discuss the different types of endings you can have in your game. This episode seems better than usual for some reason. We can’t figure it out, though.
GM: After reading A Song of Ice and Fire, I’ve been thinking of making our campaign more “Martinesque”.
Player: George R. R. Martin? You mean the guy that kills off his main characters? It sounds like you’re just looking for an excuse to run a player-killer campaign.
GM: …
Player: Seriously. What else would make a game “Martinesque”?
GM: Uh, complex relationships, like the one between Jaime and Cersei. You said your PC has a sister, right?
Player: …
In this installment of Literature Lessons, we discuss how to make your games more Martinesque. However, despite the delay with this episode, we have no plans to make our upload schedule Martinesque.
Today’s a training day, new player. Show you around; give you a taste of the business. I got 4 games pending people’s schedules, 3 active campaigns, another 25 in my notes that I can’t think of a decent act two for. I GM five players. That’s five different personalities. Five sets of problems. You can be number six if you act now. But I ain’t holding no hands, okay? I ain’t baby-sitting. You got today and today only to show me who and what you’re made of. You don’t like Scottish accents, get the frak away from my table. Go get you a nice, wimpy desk game, chasing Mario’s kart or something, you hear me?
In our second installment of RPG Rookies, we go over the things players and gamemasters need to discuss when starting up a new game, using our upcoming Pathfinder game as an example.
Know how to cut them, know how to read them,
Know how to stain them, know how to prove them,
Know how to evoke them, know how to score them,
Know how to send them; know how to spend them
— Havamal
Our fourth installment of Magic deals with runes, the power associated with them, and how you can bring this often underused form of magic into your games. Although we mostly define runes as the letters used to write various Germanic languages before the adoption of the Latin alphabet, we do mention a few other forms of magical writing systems.
Wayne brings up D&D Next again, but (surprisingly) doesn’t rant about it. Meanwhile Chris does rant, just not about anything game related, and Lyal provides tips on how to enjoy Dungeons & Dragons 3: Book of Vile Darkness.
Have a bunch of hungry of listeners and only one hour to prepare? Well, if you have a corpse in the fridge and a few human foibles in the cupboard, you can satisfy even the most demanding guest with this zesty variation of our Creature Feature series.
Sin-eater Steaks
Cover the corpse in a sauce made from the ingredients.
Pass through the flames of Hell until the sinner recants or the meat is pink in the middle.
Slice into steaks and serve with sprigs of parsley, uh, from the damned.
The evil Elder Gods of Real Life have raised their tentacled heads again, making recording and editing a regular episode for this week problematic. Instead, we’re bringing you the next part of our Monsterhearts game, being MCed for us by Chris. If you haven’t done so already, please check out part one where we introduce the characters and give a recap of what’s happened in the story so far.
Please be aware that this episode is largely uncut and unedited, and contains both adult language and adult situations. Listener discretion is advised.
Our second installment of Weapons looks at the role long guns (muskets, arquebuses, rifles, carbines and shotguns) in battle, society and games. It is also our first drinking game episode*.
Take a drink:
Whenever you hear the words “trade-off” or “interesting”.
Whenever “cavalry” is pronounced “Calvary”.
Take a shot:
Whenever Chris mentions his daughter. (I think we cut those out.)
Whenever Lyal makes a mistake. (I’m pretty sure he cut those out.)
Chug while:
Wayne complains about D&D Next. (You’ll probably tune those out. We do.)
*We highly recommend non-alcoholic drinks – otherwise this game would probably kill off most of the audience.
With Lyal unavailable to record this week, Chris and Wayne talk about something they do almost constantly: intra-party fighting. We discuss player vs. player conflicts, both in games designed to pit the characters against each other and in games where they’re expected to act as a team. We use The Hunger Games (which Chris finally found the time to watch) and The Avengers as our running examples. While we try not to give away any big secrets, there may be a few minor spoilers for these movies in the episode.
With Chris unavailable to record this week, Wayne and Lyal talk about one of their favorite TV shows (and one that Chris refuses to watch), True Blood. Instead of focusing on character archetypes as we’ve done in other TV related episodes, we talk about the lessons we’ve learned from five seasons of True Blood and how you can apply them to your games.
Genghis Khan is the name, I’m ahead of my game
Still, drinking from teats, still with hoof beats
Still not loving the Caliphs (Uh hun)
Still rock my kharash in battle and a seige
Still got love for the steeeppes, repping one one one
Still the hooves bang, still arrows twang
Since I left, ain’t too much changed, still
Got a whole Tumen ridin’ at my back, you won’t even see when I’m coming to attack
Cause you think that we be a fleein’, yeah looks like we be retreatin’
But soon you’ll be seein’; that it’s you who is get beaten
You think we all dressed in fur, but I got fine lacquer armor and a bling silk shirt.
Still history won’t be bored,
Still have all the rage we have stored,
Still yo you gonna get served,
Still by the Mongol Horde!
Since I left, ain’t too much changed, still
For our next installment of Warriors, we look at the Mongolian Horsemen. A group who, even 700 years later, still represents the idea of an unstoppable, all conquering juggernaut.