The Red Hands of Idle

The two men met to cast. One spoke with the dangerous ease of a panther, too fiercely supple to be a product of civilization. Nor was his face that of a civilized man: it was as untamed as the primordial ghetto which formed its background. The other was Lyal.

In this installment of Literature Lessons, we look at the work of Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan, Kull, and Soloman Kane.

In a world with jumbo shrimp, deafening silences, and open secrets, we get that some people want realistic magic. In this episode, we discuss magic and realism. While we can’t say that you’ll be able to make the magic in your game realistic after listening to the episode, we can promise that you’ll be able to have it make sense.

Genghis Khan is the name, I’m ahead of my game
Still, drinking from teats, still with hoof beats
Still not loving the Caliphs (Uh hun)
Still rock my kharash in battle and a seige
Still got love for the steeeppes, repping one one one
Still the hooves bang, still arrows twang
Since I left, ain’t too much changed, still

Got a whole Tumen ridin’ at my back, you won’t even see when I’m coming to attack
Cause you think that we be a fleein’, yeah looks like we be retreatin’
But soon you’ll be seein’; that it’s you who is get beaten
You think we all dressed in fur, but I got fine lacquer armor and a bling silk shirt.

Still history won’t be bored,
Still have all the rage we have stored,
Still yo you gonna get served,
Still by the Mongol Horde!
Since I left, ain’t too much changed, still

For our next installment of Warriors, we look at the Mongolian Horsemen. A group who, even 700 years later, still represents the idea of an unstoppable, all conquering juggernaut.

We opin the Month o’ Horror with aower debut Literature Lesson. In this un, we look at H.P. Lovecraft and haow te use ’is queer themes in yer games. Naow, dis Lovecraft feller kin set a body thinkin’, an’ when we git ta thinkin’, we git ta talkin’. Thar’s plenty here ta stir ye up an’ make yer blood tickle. See ef ye kin find aower leetle soorprises fer ye.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. I ain’t never heerd nothing like this befer, but ’tis paowerful stuff. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Naow, don’t that beat all. Queer haow suthin’ gits a holt on ye. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh

Oscar Wilde once said, “(A)ny fool can make history, but it takes a genius to podcast about it.” At least, he would have said that if he’d listened to this episode (and had known what a podcast was).

In this episode, we look at how to give your setting a history and a background by using names, prejudices, quotes, forgotten monuments and other tricks.

Wayne reveals a trick of his own when he uses his precognition to critique Lyal’s points before Lyal actually makes them.

Another Idle Red Hands first (for us, at least)! We debut Mashups, where we blend different elements to make new(ish) game settings. In this episode, we add twists to fictional and historical settings.

It’s an extra long episode (or as the Japanese say, plus alpha) because we had so much fun doing the first two mashups, we decided to do a third one. How much fun they are to listen to is up to you. The consensus is that the first one is the weakest link (or as the Japanese say, the red-headed stepchild).

Corrections:

The Hyborian Age is set after Atlantis sank, not before. Kull is part of the Thurian Age, not the Hyborian Age, and is actually from Atlantis. Both were created by Robert E. Howard. Lyal has since turned in his Conan Fan Club card.

Kirk Douglas was a contemporary of Burt Lancaster, not Kurt Russell. Yes, Lyal again. He refuses to turn in his Kurt Russell Fan Club card, however.

Jason Straham was in Crank, not Crash. Chris was going to turn in his Jason Straham Fan Club card until he was reminded that it was the only one in existence.