With male strippers, Vancian magic and the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, this episode has something for everyone. It’s also the debut of our Magic series, which will examine real world examples of “magical” organizations and magic.

Plus: Another entry in our D&D Next Diary (yes, magic)

“Not to recommend Canadian hip hop; that is the Law. Are we not Men?”
“Not to talk about dolphin sex; that is the Law. Are we not Men?”
“Not to tear up during an episode; that is the Law. Are we not Men?”

Apparently not, because we break every law. In this episode, we discuss some classic “animal” novels and how to play animals in games.

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word “slavery”? “Fun”? “Engaging”? No? Well, after this episode you just might. Probably not, though.

Plus: The Lord of the Rings: The Untold Story

Mae: The light that’s leaving that star right now will take a billion years to get down here. You want to know why you’ve never met a girl like me before?
Caleb: Yeah. Why?
Mae: Because I’ll still be here when the light from that star gets down here to earth in a billion years.
Near Dark

“We don’t cry at twilight. We don’t give interviews. We aren’t anyone’s children, day or night. We’re your fears, your desires, your taboos. We’re your worst nightmare and most delicious dream.” – Prince Idle the Red Hand

In this episode, we put the “red” in Idle Red Hands.

“Look, I get it. You guys thought that without Chris you could squeeze two topics into one episode. One less host means less talking. Does that sound about right?”
“Uh, yeah. Something like that.”
“There’s just one thing: you guys always knew it would run long! Chris wasn’t the reason episodes ran long in the past. If anything, his ability to kill a conversation kept the episode times down. So, when did you realize he wasn’t the problem, before or after you killed him?”
“Wu-what? We never thought he was a problem.”
“Oh, so you killed him for nothing.”

When Hollywood runs out of Saturday morning cartoons to make into movies, we suggest a new source for shaky ideas: pen and paper roleplaying games. (Because, really, The Smurfs?)

In this episode, we discuss the few RPG movies out there, and then we pitch our own ideas for RPG movies.

Everything you always wanted to know about pen-and-paper role-playing games but were afraid (or couldn’t be bothered) to ask.

The Idle Red Hands are blessed with some great friends who, despite having no clue about RPGs, listen to our podcast. One recommended that we record an episode that explains some of the basic concepts to help him follow along, so we did. This is for him and all those who have ever wondered why some people choose to spend their Saturday nights rolling dice.

If you’re an experienced gamer, have a listen to see if you agree with our descriptions, definitions, and recommendations.

To start a lifetime of adventure, download these free rules for GURPS 4th Edition from the good people at Steve Jackson Games (or visit your local army recruiting center).

Special note: We debut our new microphone this episode.